Friday, November 21, 2008

Guns N Roses - Chinese Democracy (extended)

I usually don't review these kind of albums but since there's been so much hype, I thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

We thought this day would never come...

After missing countless deadlines

A million line up changes...

Chinese Democracy will finally see the light of day.

As you probably know, Chinese Democracy will be released this Sunday through Best Buy. It will be Guns N Roses' first album of original material since 1991's "Use Your Illusions I and II." 14 years in the making... and for what? This album BLOWS donkey balls. You can tell that this has been in the making for so long. Some of these songs sound dated. They sound like the average Nine Inch Nails influenced pseudo industrial-"rock" song from 1997 - 2000. I'm not disappointed because I knew this album would suck! I'm just taking the opportunity to bash this piece of shit. This "music" is so fucking lame. It's hard to call some of this shit "rock." I'm reviewing this album based on the songs I heard from their MySpace page since they have the whole album streaming on there for the time being.

"There’s this one song called ‘Sorry’ that’s almost like doom metal with Axl singing really clean over this grinding, slow beat that is fucking mean, I cannot get it out of my head"

- Sebastian Bach

BULLSHIT! It sounds nothing like Doom Metal. Don't disgrace Doom Metal by associating it with that piece of shit song. Sebastian Bach is a fucking moron and I bet he fucks Axl behind closed doors EVERY FUCKING DAY! Both him and Axl are major man chowder kommandos! Bach likes to fuck Axl up the ass and give that fat moron a giant facial in which Axl will rub all over his big man tits with a smile on his fat cocksucking face. He obviously thought about if he should spit or swallow MORE than he thought about the actual music on this giant turd of a CD. "Chinese Democracy" is the equivalent to gay group incest among old guys with scene hair and gay lisps who have writings on their face that point arrows to their mouths that simply state "Insert Cock Here." Axl, be ashamed. For those who think this is "the greatest album in music history", eat a bowl of fuck. This record is disturbingly gay. Every time someone plays Chinese Democracy, Elton John is getting his asshole destroyed to the point of eternal bleeding by his husband's dick! This is one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Don't buy it! It's a waste of money just like the making of this album was a waste of time. This albums screams out "THUPER DUPER GAY!" If you want quality music in 2008, get Hooded Meance's "Fulfill the Curse." REAL DOOM METAL.

This album has a score lower than 0.

Enjoy your free Dr. Pepper.


Al Bundy said...

Chinese Democracy has been released today and it SUUUUUCKS!

BigNewsDay said...

What a crappy band. Axl is such a f**khead, that I'm suprised that this piece of s**t has actually seen the light of day. Oh well, I won't waste my money on this.

ken said...

I just gotta say I miss Al's reviews. These really crack me up. Though I gotta say he took it pretty easy on Axl as opposed to some of the other reviews I've seen.
Have a nice Thanksgiving you guys.

Al Bundy said...

I've been writting some new reviews lately on the Metal Pundit. Both positive and negative. Now that you mention it, I did take it easy on Axl. So I decided to extend this review with extra insults. Happy Thanksgiving!

BigNewsDay said...

Much better!

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