Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Obama's Response to the SOTU Address

Friday, January 18, 2008

Video of the Day

This video proves once and for all that Fred Durst is one of the most underated musicians in modern music. Not only can he rap AND sing, he can play really fast shred guitar. Amazing and inspirational.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Probably old but entertaining

"Our staff all agree that Ann Coulter should die. Soon. But how should she die? We asked Odin, Chief of the Nordic Gods and ruler of Asgard, to tell us how Ann Coulter should die. Here are his responses (in descending order):

10. Pulled apart by 4 wild horses - 1 horse tied to each limb. The horses should be painted blue.
9. Forced to eat 7 double Quarter-Pounders with cheese. Then shot in the head with a longbow.
8. My Son, Thor, should smite her with his mighty hammer.
7. She should be covered in expired sour cream and fed to 10,000 fire ants. Then shot in the head with a longbow.
6. Buried alive under 1,026 hardcover copies of books by Al Franken.
5. Loaded into a French TRF1 155 mm gun-howitzer and shot into the Eiffel Tower at close range.
4. Forced to run a 3-legged race with Jimmy Carter, and at the end of the race...shot through the head with a longbow.
3. Bitch-slapped to death by Hilary Clinton and Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski.
2. Drive her out to the middle of the Mojave Desert in a Hummer. The Hummer should be drained of all but 1 gallon of fuel. She then tries to drive herself to freedom - but the gas-guzzling Hummer runs out of fuel before she can escape the oppressive heat of the desert. As she is dehydrated, delirious, sunburned and near death - a paramedic drives up in a Prius Hybrid and shoots her through the head with a longbow.

And the #1 way Ann Coulter should die...

Alone and staring at her grotesquely skinny and hideously-bug-eyed face in the mirror. "


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Links of the Day

I haven't done this in a while, and have seen some very interesting news stories today. Enjoy!!!

Man spots his wife during visit to brothel

The corpse in the chair was a dead giveaway

If only he’d been wearing a sheath dress

Jilted lesbian rugby player killed herself after brutally beating lover who had 'webcam affair'

Truck hits couple kissing on street

Officers Raid Home, Take 11-Year-Old To Hospital

Dad threw 4 tots off bridge for revenge

'Meanest mom on planet' sells son's car

Katrina victim sues U.S. for $3 quadrillion

Do Monkeys Pay for Sex?

I think the human race is officially fucked. I think I am going to go home and hide in the closet until the apocalypse.

The True Story of Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter (born Richard Hart Coulter on December 8, 1961) is a conservative soap dropping ankle grabbing transsexual typist born to a family of toothless neo-Nazi christian pedophiles. He is the great-grandson of Heinrich Himmler.

After graduating from high school, 18 year old Richard Coulter underwent a sex change in tawdry Bangkok abortion clinic. Legally changing his name to Ann. "She" confirmed this in an interview with FAUX News. "I was just a woman trapped in a man's body. I always loved dressing up in drag ever since I was a 4--when I was having drunken incest parties with my retartad brothers." Shortly after the sex change, mAnn Coulter joined the KKK and rose quickly in the hierarchy due to her blinding ambition, fervent racism, and the much less talked about predilection of a certain Grand Dragon that had a thing for dumb blond-transsexuals. In 1983, complaining that the KKK had swung far too left, and was infiltrated with whimpy educated North East liberals, Ann resigned from the KKK and started a very successful career in typing. She/He became heavily involved with the far-right and had a string of well documented love affairs with plethora of well known conservative celeb's--including: Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Neal Boortz and Supreme Court Justice Clarance Thomas.

In the past few years, Ann Coulter wrote a bunch of crappy children's books of which do not make any sense whatsoever but are greatly beloved by drooling Fascists, pedophile priests, and people who get their kicks by torturing small animals. In 2006, mAnn wrote "Godless: The Church of Liberalism", the epitome of rank bullshit. The book simply reeks of ass and fail. A book so stupid that even Bill O Reily would blush. In 2007, Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot." Ironically, When Ann Coulter was still going by the name Richard Coulter, he shot his own gay porno film with his two retarded brothers "Gay Nazi Youth Gone Wild: The Incest Edition."

Sadly, Ann Coulter is still alive and is bound to strike again with "her" pathetic right wing diatribes. Maybe one day, IT will die in a puddle of IT'S own sick. One can only hope.

This wraps up the true story of one of America's biggest ass-clowns, Ann Coulter.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Interview with Bill O Reilly

I have recently sat down with the undisputed champion of ass-clownery, Bill O Reilly. Here is the interview.

Al Bundy: Bill, I would like to thank you for joining us today for this interview--you are greatly respected here at Big News Day.
Bill O Reilly: Thank you very much, it's certainly a pleasure.
AB: Okay, lets just get some rather ugly rumours out of the way--you are a lightning rod of sorts and the rumours tend to get a bit nasty.
BOR: I agree.
AB: Bill, are you currently a member of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: Wait a second now--this is outrageous. I'm not going to sit here and let you...
AB: No. You're going to answer the damn question Bill.
BOR: What the hell kind of outfit is this.
AB: I ask the goddamn questions--you answer the goddamn questions. Again, are you a dues paying member of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: I've never heard this rumour, where the hell did you get this.
AB: It's a YES or NO question Bill.
BOR: No.
AB: Good. I'm glad we could clear this up for you.
BOR: Well thanks for that.
AB: Your sarcasm is unnecessary.
BOR: Are you always this aggressive in interviews?
AB: Again Bill, I ask the goddamn questions.
BOR: Fine, go ahead.
AB: Thank you. Now, as I stated before you are a lighting rod thus you've been called a lot of names--such as staunch conservative, Right Winger, cranky conservative, things like that. Does this sit well with you? Is this fair?
BOR: I'm proud to be a conservative, besides, names and labels don't hurt me at all.
AB: You've also been called a Right Wing douche, the King of Right Wing Douches, a gerbil molesting closet queer, a snoodler, a cock stuffing man chowder commando, a tool, a Right Wing tool, Bush's tool, Rupert Murdoch's boy toy, a shit eating fucktard, a conservative cum dumpster, media whore, king of media whores, donkey raping king of media whores, megalomaniac, Right Wing cock jocky, troglodyte, George Bush's personal Monica Lewinski, shit face cockmaster--Bill the list could go on for miles. Does any of this bother you?
BOR: I don't know what kind of crap you're trying to pull here but...
AB: Watch your fucking language--think of the children. I bet you don't kiss your gay lover with that mouth, do you?
BOR: I'm out of here.
AB: You're going nowhere. Now sit you're fat ass down and answer the damn questions.
BOR: Fine, let's hurry this up.
AB: You've stated earlier that you are not a current member of NAMBLA--My next question to you is: Do you know somebody in NAMBLA? Are you associated with any members of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: This is ridiculous.
AB: This is NOT ridiculous. These are legitamite questions that demand answers and NOT you're typical conservative run around, bluster, and spin. This is the REAL No Spin Zone--now answer the damn question.
BOR: I can't take this any more.
AB: Shut Up--cut his mic.