Friday, November 21, 2008

Guns N Roses - Chinese Democracy (extended)

I usually don't review these kind of albums but since there's been so much hype, I thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

We thought this day would never come...

After missing countless deadlines

A million line up changes...

Chinese Democracy will finally see the light of day.

As you probably know, Chinese Democracy will be released this Sunday through Best Buy. It will be Guns N Roses' first album of original material since 1991's "Use Your Illusions I and II." 14 years in the making... and for what? This album BLOWS donkey balls. You can tell that this has been in the making for so long. Some of these songs sound dated. They sound like the average Nine Inch Nails influenced pseudo industrial-"rock" song from 1997 - 2000. I'm not disappointed because I knew this album would suck! I'm just taking the opportunity to bash this piece of shit. This "music" is so fucking lame. It's hard to call some of this shit "rock." I'm reviewing this album based on the songs I heard from their MySpace page since they have the whole album streaming on there for the time being.

"There’s this one song called ‘Sorry’ that’s almost like doom metal with Axl singing really clean over this grinding, slow beat that is fucking mean, I cannot get it out of my head"

- Sebastian Bach

BULLSHIT! It sounds nothing like Doom Metal. Don't disgrace Doom Metal by associating it with that piece of shit song. Sebastian Bach is a fucking moron and I bet he fucks Axl behind closed doors EVERY FUCKING DAY! Both him and Axl are major man chowder kommandos! Bach likes to fuck Axl up the ass and give that fat moron a giant facial in which Axl will rub all over his big man tits with a smile on his fat cocksucking face. He obviously thought about if he should spit or swallow MORE than he thought about the actual music on this giant turd of a CD. "Chinese Democracy" is the equivalent to gay group incest among old guys with scene hair and gay lisps who have writings on their face that point arrows to their mouths that simply state "Insert Cock Here." Axl, be ashamed. For those who think this is "the greatest album in music history", eat a bowl of fuck. This record is disturbingly gay. Every time someone plays Chinese Democracy, Elton John is getting his asshole destroyed to the point of eternal bleeding by his husband's dick! This is one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Don't buy it! It's a waste of money just like the making of this album was a waste of time. This albums screams out "THUPER DUPER GAY!" If you want quality music in 2008, get Hooded Meance's "Fulfill the Curse." REAL DOOM METAL.

This album has a score lower than 0.

Enjoy your free Dr. Pepper.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

CongratulkaTions to Barack Obama

I tHought i would extend my congrats To the winning man BaraCk Obama and this was a real coOl to watCh.

I wish I coulD have participated this year. I Was in a Fight in the voting line after I recognized that shamwow guy from Tv you kno w that jerk? yeah so i was like no way and leapt across the roomA nd tackled the guy, Got a few GOod hITs in before they pulleD me off and threwew me out but man it was wortH it, i did my civic duty.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Metal and Horror

Horror films/books have always been an influence on Metal. Like Metal, Horror has been going through rough times lately. Since there hasn't been a good horror film since the early 90's and even then that was the beginning of the decline. Metal has been having a hard time since the rise of Nu-Metal in 1999. But when you have a quality metal band taking influence from old horror films, you can never go wrong. Bands such as Rigor Mortis, Massacre, Frightmare, King Diamond, Mortician, Death, Impetigo, Denial Fiend, Blood Freak, and so on have been inspired by Horror. Most of King Diamond's albums are concept albums that are basically Horror tales. Impetigo would use samples from Horror movies as intros to their songs. Which something Mortician and many other bands would do in the coming years. Some people try denying it. Saying horror themed lyrics is a cliche in metal, I say "FUUUUCK YOU!" to them. Metal and Horror is a match made in Heaven (or Hell).

Here's an example of one of the greatest metal songs with clips from the slasher classic Sleepaway Camp. This track narrates the movie. If you don't know this film or the lyrics, you will not know what the fuck is going on. However, enjoy the music.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Ask Ken

Dr. Ken has made a final advice column as he is heading out on a vacation into September. The Dr. is looking forward to your questions upon his return.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Mid Summer Metal Survey

Thought I would throw this out there, just to see what everyone is listening to.

Favorite band:
Currently listening to:
Favorite release of 2007:
Favorite release of 2008:
Most anticipated release of 2008:
Last CD purchased:
Need to hear more:
Metal goes best with:
Additional beef:

Name: McGovern
Favorite band: Death
Currently listening to: Sybreed
Favorite release of 2007: wasn't picking up as much as I should. Scarve's Undercurrent was a good listen
Favorite release of 2008: Meshuggah's obZen has been solid for my tastes
Most anticipated release of 2008: Sybreed - Antares
Last CD purchased: The Dark Knight soundtrack (though not metal), Hans Zimmer is an amazing composer. His soundtrack to Batman Begins was dark and powerful, and the dynamics within several tracks are oft compared to metal song structure.
Need to hear more: Symbyosis. Crisis is one of the best albums I've ever taken in. Brilliant songwriting and a thoroughly entertaining group that doesn't have the capacity to get their material in fan's hands
Metal goes best with: football
Additional beef:

Name: H EN HAkws
Favorite band: iRon MAiDNE
Currently listening to: DOkKEN "dream warrriors"
Favorite release of 2007: gOo d charloTte
Favorite release of 2008: MANOWAr
Most anticipated release of 2008: CHINEs ed emocracy
Last CD purchased: cH ER
Need to hear more: sax on
Metal goes best with: PRON
Additional beef: I AhtE IT WHEN PeOPEL ar elike stupid and sutff liK aT the music store i jUSt want to rock and they say tuRN iT down anD im LikE yOu Want two inChes of hArd dick in You And They get all offended and shIT and im liKE yeaH thats right ho i own your aSs.

Name: Al Bundy
Favorite band: Death or Massacre (both are tied)
Currently listening to: Vital Remains - Into Cold Darkness
Favorite release of 2007: Denial Fiend's "They Rise" (Blood Freak's "Multiplex Massacre" is not far behind. Both albums are in my top 10 of all time!)
Favorite release of 2008: So far, I say Cardiac Arrest's "Cadaverous Presence"
Most anticipated release of 2008: Hooded Menace's "Fulfill The Curse" without a doubt. There is also Blood Freak's "Scared Stiff" but I have no idea when that's coming out.
Last CD purchased: Lord Gore - Resickened (better late than never!)
Need to hear more: Frightmare! Bringing Back the Bloodshed was my favorite from 06. I wonder how they will follow it up in 09.
Metal goes best with: 70's and 80's Horror/Exploitation films.
Additional beef: Emo/Scene Kids Can FUCK OFF AND DIE!!! In the words of Kam Lee, "Posers Shall Burn in the Pit!" Death to modern trends and false metal!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

A Tribute To The Ancient Tyrants of Death Metal

I would like to pay tribute to Massacre of whom will be playing their final show at this year's Wacken Open Air Festival. For me, Massacre are the ideal death metal band. Their record "From Beyond" is beyond any body's criticism. It's perfect. That is how death metal should sound like. Their demos were amazing and the Inhuman Condition EP (if it was made into a full length) couldve been THE greatest album of all time. Their vocalist, Kam "The Tyrant" Lee is the greatest vocalist EVER. Massacre never got the credit they deserved but they are still remembered in the true underground as one of the elite death metal bands.

Chamber of Ages

Inhuman Condition

Provoked Accurser (Live in 2007)

Biohazzard (Live in 1991)

Aggressive Tyrant (Live in 1986)

Clangor of War (Live in 1986)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Hula Go-Bot (or When Co-Workers Attack)

If for some reason you decide to bring your toys to work with you, you may need to hide them when you are going to be out for the day. One of my co-workers left his go-bot on his desk. It was in the form of a jet plane. Another co-worker decided to have a little fun. Here are the results. This was done entirely with sticky notes (and maybe a little tape.)

Remember that if your are a grown man, it is probably best to leave your go-bots.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


There really is not much to say about this historic event. Finally, our great nation has lived up to its promise of equality. Finally, someone other than the typical rulers of this country has a shot at becoming our president. It sure is no accident that the Democratic Party is responsible for this exciting occasion. On to the general election, YES WE CAN...

Democratic Party Nominee - Senator Barack Obama (D-IL)


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Thursday, May 15, 2008

New addition to the BND family

As I discussed last summer, my 14 year old dog sploodge passed away. This past weekend, we decided to give LittleNewsDay a dog for his birthday. So meet our dog Astro.

Now, the real challenge is to keep him away from riotact666.

Monday, May 12, 2008

For your listening pleasure

Today, I finally found the greatest web site ever made. Make sure you turn your speakers up as loud as you can.

Oh, don't tell me to grow up.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Where's BND?

Where's BND? Theories are now circling:

- Drunk, passed out in ditch
- White Castle bender, passed out in ditch
- Jail (he was that guy who tried to cash a $360 billion check last week)
- Held captive in the basement of a Supercuts
- Tracking Sarah Connor
- I heard Krokus might be on the road again, he's not around, so I figure he's one of the band members. He's always talking about how badass Krokus was.
- Wrestling in ECW
- Finalizing that hip-hop album
- Inventing hamburger cereal

Friday, April 18, 2008

Ask Ken blog back up!

Thought I would inform you guys the Ask Ken column is back up and full of energy.
By the way, thanks to you all who checked out the St Baldrick's foundation and the cancer fundraiser. This is a great cause and if you're interested in donating, there's info in the dzogchen blog and I have a picture of the chrome dome up in the dzogchen gallery.
You guys have a good weekend.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The fucked up world we live in

I know I joked the other day about the polygamy raid that has taken place down here in Tejas, but seriously, this is truly a fucked up situation. Girls are being bred with the sole purpose of being enslaved by assholes who care nothing about anything but their own libido. I'm glad that this raid has taken place, but I'm sure there are many more of these assholes out there. These assholes need to be brought down, and brought down in the harsh way. Everyone that reads my blog knows how I feel about pedophile dickheads, and know that I am an original member of Absolute Zero. Anyone who feels that taking advantage of an underage child is OK deserves to have the shit beat the fuck out of them in the harshest of ways. I just hope that the heroic 16 year old girl who reported this child abuse camp in west Texas is found safe.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Thursday, March 27, 2008


To the metalheads
In the past few months of my abscence I have been diving into new interests and working on an instrumental musical project, Dzogchen. Dzogchen is a departure from what I have done with The Ash and The Red in multiple dimensions: there is a decreased technicality, an ascension in the sound and, truthfully, I have not had to force anything. The influx of ideas has come and is expressed as is.
I am planning on making an announcement on The Ash and The Red myspace page this evening but wanted to inform you first. The news is this is where I am, there are two tracks up now and two tracks currently being recorded.
Please forgive me for not participating and not continuing with you all to your site as of late, I would like to be a bigger part of this again. I hope this is of the littlest inconvenience to you all.
The Dzogchen site is here:
I hope you enjoy some of the work and I have CD quality material, complete with label, free and ready to ship out to you all. I am still perfecting my engineering skills and I promise you there is a big difference once this CD hits good speakers.
Thanks to you all.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Obama Leads in Texas!

The most recent CNN and SurveyUSA polls show that Barack Obama has taken a 4 point lead in Texas. For more analysis, read here.

If Obama wins Texas, the race is practically over, and the Clintonista regime will have to go back and review all the tactical mistakes her campaign made. The people believe Obama. The people want change. To consistently insult the people will not work to get you elected.

In the Dallas area in particular, Obama has made giant strides. I'm glad the good people of Dallas have come through for Barack. I'm sure you're proud too BND!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

New Metal Pundit Forum!

Alright, the old Metal Pundit forum vanished for some reason so I decided to build a better and more professional one! All contributors of this blog are welcome to join the Admin staff.

Join the Forum!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Video of the Day

This video proves once and for all that Fred Durst is one of the most underated musicians in modern music. Not only can he rap AND sing, he can play really fast shred guitar. Amazing and inspirational.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Probably old but entertaining

"Our staff all agree that Ann Coulter should die. Soon. But how should she die? We asked Odin, Chief of the Nordic Gods and ruler of Asgard, to tell us how Ann Coulter should die. Here are his responses (in descending order):

10. Pulled apart by 4 wild horses - 1 horse tied to each limb. The horses should be painted blue.
9. Forced to eat 7 double Quarter-Pounders with cheese. Then shot in the head with a longbow.
8. My Son, Thor, should smite her with his mighty hammer.
7. She should be covered in expired sour cream and fed to 10,000 fire ants. Then shot in the head with a longbow.
6. Buried alive under 1,026 hardcover copies of books by Al Franken.
5. Loaded into a French TRF1 155 mm gun-howitzer and shot into the Eiffel Tower at close range.
4. Forced to run a 3-legged race with Jimmy Carter, and at the end of the race...shot through the head with a longbow.
3. Bitch-slapped to death by Hilary Clinton and Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski.
2. Drive her out to the middle of the Mojave Desert in a Hummer. The Hummer should be drained of all but 1 gallon of fuel. She then tries to drive herself to freedom - but the gas-guzzling Hummer runs out of fuel before she can escape the oppressive heat of the desert. As she is dehydrated, delirious, sunburned and near death - a paramedic drives up in a Prius Hybrid and shoots her through the head with a longbow.

And the #1 way Ann Coulter should die...

Alone and staring at her grotesquely skinny and hideously-bug-eyed face in the mirror. "


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Links of the Day

I haven't done this in a while, and have seen some very interesting news stories today. Enjoy!!!

Man spots his wife during visit to brothel

The corpse in the chair was a dead giveaway

If only he’d been wearing a sheath dress

Jilted lesbian rugby player killed herself after brutally beating lover who had 'webcam affair'

Truck hits couple kissing on street

Officers Raid Home, Take 11-Year-Old To Hospital

Dad threw 4 tots off bridge for revenge

'Meanest mom on planet' sells son's car

Katrina victim sues U.S. for $3 quadrillion

Do Monkeys Pay for Sex?

I think the human race is officially fucked. I think I am going to go home and hide in the closet until the apocalypse.

The True Story of Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter (born Richard Hart Coulter on December 8, 1961) is a conservative soap dropping ankle grabbing transsexual typist born to a family of toothless neo-Nazi christian pedophiles. He is the great-grandson of Heinrich Himmler.

After graduating from high school, 18 year old Richard Coulter underwent a sex change in tawdry Bangkok abortion clinic. Legally changing his name to Ann. "She" confirmed this in an interview with FAUX News. "I was just a woman trapped in a man's body. I always loved dressing up in drag ever since I was a 4--when I was having drunken incest parties with my retartad brothers." Shortly after the sex change, mAnn Coulter joined the KKK and rose quickly in the hierarchy due to her blinding ambition, fervent racism, and the much less talked about predilection of a certain Grand Dragon that had a thing for dumb blond-transsexuals. In 1983, complaining that the KKK had swung far too left, and was infiltrated with whimpy educated North East liberals, Ann resigned from the KKK and started a very successful career in typing. She/He became heavily involved with the far-right and had a string of well documented love affairs with plethora of well known conservative celeb's--including: Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Neal Boortz and Supreme Court Justice Clarance Thomas.

In the past few years, Ann Coulter wrote a bunch of crappy children's books of which do not make any sense whatsoever but are greatly beloved by drooling Fascists, pedophile priests, and people who get their kicks by torturing small animals. In 2006, mAnn wrote "Godless: The Church of Liberalism", the epitome of rank bullshit. The book simply reeks of ass and fail. A book so stupid that even Bill O Reily would blush. In 2007, Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot." Ironically, When Ann Coulter was still going by the name Richard Coulter, he shot his own gay porno film with his two retarded brothers "Gay Nazi Youth Gone Wild: The Incest Edition."

Sadly, Ann Coulter is still alive and is bound to strike again with "her" pathetic right wing diatribes. Maybe one day, IT will die in a puddle of IT'S own sick. One can only hope.

This wraps up the true story of one of America's biggest ass-clowns, Ann Coulter.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Interview with Bill O Reilly

I have recently sat down with the undisputed champion of ass-clownery, Bill O Reilly. Here is the interview.

Al Bundy: Bill, I would like to thank you for joining us today for this interview--you are greatly respected here at Big News Day.
Bill O Reilly: Thank you very much, it's certainly a pleasure.
AB: Okay, lets just get some rather ugly rumours out of the way--you are a lightning rod of sorts and the rumours tend to get a bit nasty.
BOR: I agree.
AB: Bill, are you currently a member of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: Wait a second now--this is outrageous. I'm not going to sit here and let you...
AB: No. You're going to answer the damn question Bill.
BOR: What the hell kind of outfit is this.
AB: I ask the goddamn questions--you answer the goddamn questions. Again, are you a dues paying member of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: I've never heard this rumour, where the hell did you get this.
AB: It's a YES or NO question Bill.
BOR: No.
AB: Good. I'm glad we could clear this up for you.
BOR: Well thanks for that.
AB: Your sarcasm is unnecessary.
BOR: Are you always this aggressive in interviews?
AB: Again Bill, I ask the goddamn questions.
BOR: Fine, go ahead.
AB: Thank you. Now, as I stated before you are a lighting rod thus you've been called a lot of names--such as staunch conservative, Right Winger, cranky conservative, things like that. Does this sit well with you? Is this fair?
BOR: I'm proud to be a conservative, besides, names and labels don't hurt me at all.
AB: You've also been called a Right Wing douche, the King of Right Wing Douches, a gerbil molesting closet queer, a snoodler, a cock stuffing man chowder commando, a tool, a Right Wing tool, Bush's tool, Rupert Murdoch's boy toy, a shit eating fucktard, a conservative cum dumpster, media whore, king of media whores, donkey raping king of media whores, megalomaniac, Right Wing cock jocky, troglodyte, George Bush's personal Monica Lewinski, shit face cockmaster--Bill the list could go on for miles. Does any of this bother you?
BOR: I don't know what kind of crap you're trying to pull here but...
AB: Watch your fucking language--think of the children. I bet you don't kiss your gay lover with that mouth, do you?
BOR: I'm out of here.
AB: You're going nowhere. Now sit you're fat ass down and answer the damn questions.
BOR: Fine, let's hurry this up.
AB: You've stated earlier that you are not a current member of NAMBLA--My next question to you is: Do you know somebody in NAMBLA? Are you associated with any members of the North American Man Boy Love Association?
BOR: This is ridiculous.
AB: This is NOT ridiculous. These are legitamite questions that demand answers and NOT you're typical conservative run around, bluster, and spin. This is the REAL No Spin Zone--now answer the damn question.
BOR: I can't take this any more.
AB: Shut Up--cut his mic.