The first two paragraphs:
A 12-round chess match between Russia's Vladimir Kramnik and Bulgarian Veselin Topalov to decide the world's top player resumed on Monday after a row over toilet breaks forced a two-day suspension.
Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, World Chess Federation president and head of the south Russian republic Kalmykia hosting the match, interrupted a conference with Russian President
Vladimir Putin to broker a successful truce between the two teams at the weekend.
They interrupted a conference between world leaders when WWIII is about to ring the doorbell over two fucking nerds fighting over the bathroom. I mean truth is stranger than fiction, no one could write this shit, it just has to happen on its own.