Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Rightwing Chicken Littles are at it again

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Uh oh, look out. It appears that us evil secular liberals have decided to wage a WAR ON EASTER! (I must have missed that memo from Evil Secular headquarters)

Either that or John Gibson needed an excuse to write another book.

I swear these fucktards just get dumber, crazier and more shrill
by the week. Are they that desperate for some kind of issue to distract from the Rethuglican's implosion?

I say we have some fun with these wingnuts: Around early to mid June, we start rumblings about a War on Independence day, and watch the Freepers and hillbillies freak out.

These kinds of idiots almost make me favor forced sterilizations.

And, since Easter is really just a sanitized pagan fertility festival, can we rename the Easter Bunny to The Fuck Bunny?

Update: Because the Rightwing Chicken-Little Hawks have been screaching about a phoney "War on Easter" the producers of a documentary entiled The God Who Wasn't There have begun to use the "War" as a clever marketing strategy. Check out the classic pranksterism they are engaged in.

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14 comments:

ken hawk said...

thE almighty ken hawK has answered, thak you for your submisioin


ken ahwwk

BlackLabelAxe said...

^^^Ken, you are rGeattis eVre!!!

The Easter Bunny and Jesus Christ. They have absolutely nothing to do with each other, and I personally find the Easter Bunny annoying as all hell.

It's just another noble holiday that somehow got paganized.

All the people that are fighting the war FOR the Easter Bunny should be locked in a cage for a death match against all the Muslims who have a problem with cartoons of Muhammed. Then they can kill each other off, and the rest of us can celebrate our faith in peace!

BigNewsDay said...

I think that you're missing the point here Axe. This whole "war on Easter" is just another stunt by the Faux News Network to stir shit up. Most of us that are without faith, can give a crap less about Easter or the Easter Bunny. I'm not the slightest bit offended by any Christian symbol or Christian holiday. The only thing must of us non-faithfuls want is to not have anyone's religious beliefs shoved down our throats.

B.L. Sabob: now "completely heterosexual" said...

"It's just another noble holiday that somehow got paganized."

Incorrect. It's a Pagan holiday that was co-opted by Christianity when Christianity was conquering and converting the Pagans.

Ever wonder why Easter falls on a different Sunday every year? Unlike Thanksgiving, which falls on the third Thursday of November, Easter can fall anywhere from the end of March to the end of April. Why? Because the pagan festivals upon which Easter was based followed a Lunar calendar, not the Gregorian calendar. The date of Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon of spring. How Pagan is that?

Easter, from the Norse Goddess of Fertility, Ostara, is celebrated in the Springtime to coincide with the Spring fertility festivals that celebrate the REBIRTH of nature and crops at the end of winter. During the ancient festivals, eggs (symbols of fertility) were painted bright colors and given out.

Different European Pagan cultures celebrated the Spring fertility festivals in different ways, and they had various names for their fertility Goddesses. But the similarities are greater than the differences.

To summarize:

Eggs and rabbits = fertility symbols.
Springtime = the time of the year when nature is "reborn"
The name Easter based on the name of a Pagan Goddess.
Easter follows the full moon.

Conclusion: Easter is a Pagan Holiday. Even Christians agree: http://members.aol.com/libcfl/easter.htm

Enjoy.

BigNewsDay said...

But blsabob, that does not explain why they fell that it is necessary to show that asshole Charlton Heston playing Moses in The Ten Commandments every year on the Saturday before Easter. Did Mosis do something on Easter?

B.L. Sabob: now "completely heterosexual" said...

Most likely, Moses was celebrating Passover around that time. And Chuck Heston was out hunting rabbits

B.L. Sabob: now "completely heterosexual" said...

but fuck all that mythological shit. How bout that gif of Jay and Silent Bob duking the Eater Bunny?

Fine film making and humor are things that I can celebrate.

Goremaster said...

easter bunny muhahahaahahahahhaha!!!!!

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Goremaster said...

speaking of jay and silent bob, i saw the evening with kevin smith film couple of days ago. its great. i agree with blacklabelaxe, easter bunny has nothing to do with jesus.

B.L. Sabob: now "completely heterosexual" said...

and even moreso, Christ has nothing to do with Easter.

BlackLabelAxe said...

That's some interesting history on the Easter holiday, blsabob.

I don't recall any scripture that points out the exact date when Christ was exectued and then risen, but the exact date really isn't important. That it happened at all is what matters, and even though I'm sure the Papacy probably arbitrarily set the date we think of today, it's still a great time for Christians to get together and remember the message of peace and love.

The bunny and eggs and shit is just ridiculous in my opinion.

I certainly see the propoganda that can be generated by claiming that Easter is under attack by the media/hollywood/muslims/etc. Fortunately, I'm sure most people don't actually give a shit that Christians go to Church in the morning, and hide plastic eggs full of candy for the kids afterwards. I don't see how anybody could possibly be offended by that, but then again we have Muslims that burn foreign Embassies over a damned cartoon....

BigNewsDay said...

Axe, there are realy not many of us non-christians that are offended with the day-to-day events of Christians. I know of no one except for a politician in Minnesota that made any comments about Easter. The whole "War on Easter", just like the "War on Christmas", is a fabricated news story so that Faux News can spew more hatred towards non-Christians.

B.L. Sabob: now "completely heterosexual" said...

Its just another bullshit piece of classic propaganda; convince the majority that they are "under attack" from some kind of minority group so you can rally them with cries of victimhood. Its just more the Rule By Fear technique: They're gonnsa take our guns! They're going to take our Christian Holidays! They're going to ruin hetero marriage by letting queers marry! Muslims are going to kill us all in our beds!! You're going to spend eternity burning in agony if you don't accept one specific religous figure as you own personal savior!!

Bah! All fucking bullshit!!

Ann Coulters bastard son said...

Why does the easter bunny hide her eggs????
Because she doesn't want anybody to know she's fucking chickens.