I'm going to propose my solution to two of our great problems in the year 2006: The fact that alternative fuels are just some daydream instead of something that chemists, mechanics, and engineers are furiously working to develop; and that NASCAR has turned into a redneck soap opera by homogenizing the irrelevant vehicles into true anonymity.
The 2007 NASCAR Nextel Cup winner will be powered by a different alternative fuel at every single racetrack.
Consider this: The reason that Auto Makers sponsor racing in the first place is so that they have a testing lab for their cutting-edge technology. Being a redneck myself, I have a hard time facing that fact that less than 1/10 of 1% of all vehicles on the road are powered by a 358 cubic inch engine fed by 114 octane supergas. To continue developing technology to burn 114 octane supergas is a waste of time and money.
I propose a rotation of renewable, alternative fuels be featured at every single NASCAR track in the 2007 season. This fuses my undying love of capitalism with cutting-edge science and technology. The problem with federal funding to develop technology is that you get "government" grade effort done on a "government" grade schedule. NASCAR holds gigantic purses for those truly brilliant mechanics and engineers who can figure out how to not only crank out mind-blowing power, but also deliver that power in an efficient enough manner to take the checkered flag.
Besides, I'd pick the guy with 12 cars in his front yard that he's used for parts to fix the 3 actually functional vehicles to build a better engine than those bench-racing champions in academia. Crack open another 18-pack of Icehouse, shave a #3 into your back hair, and get your wife an oversized Jeff Gordon t-shirt that covers the FUPA (and/or the BIF), and watch as America races into the age of renewable resources!